Updating my story

At some point this year, I made it a goal to refresh my resumé by April. I did not do that. I still have not done that.

My goal wasn’t to go seek another job, but instead, to turn this into an exercise of reclaiming my professional narrative. I’ve been at the same company for eight years now, but that company, and my role there, has grown dramatically in that time. What has not really evolved is my self-perception or the story I tell about myself to others.

I failed to meet my goal, and I don’t see a new resumé happening any time soon. But the achievement is not a new document, but a change of mindset and understanding of myself. That project remains, as it ever will be, on-going, but I think I’ve made some quiet progress on this front.

I was reminded of this failed goal today when I had to write out a short, four sentence personal biography. I realized there were things I listed confidently I would not have a year ago (volleyball) and things that were missing that would have been there most of my life (anything music related). My self-perception can, has, and needs to evolve regarding my personal life just like my professional life ¹.

I think I should be asking, “Who am I?” more often. It’s not as though my motivations, emotions, and actions have stopped continually expanding, contracting, or shaping a constantly changing self. We are what we feel and do, whether or not we take notice of it. The conscious, narrative sense-making I engage has a natural tendency to lag reality.